inner struggle

raindrops.

wearing embarrassment
like a broken heart
feelings trickle down
like rain drops
unforgiving and still damp
cooling fevers and contentment
fleeting moments
washing away peaceful sentiment
breathing resentment
average gestures
tease need for validation
seeking surface comfort
and avoiding self
thoughts and blinded reflection
keeping loneliness away listening to raindrops
and my slowed heartbeat
drowning out instinct
where sleep is awakened
by a shame and blues
where love is and unforgiving and forgotten by you
A gift given freely
but never without cost
keeping secrecy of souls happiness lost
raindrops on flesh
refreshing only skin
but what lies within
remains unquenched
And left dry with regret
Raw and trying to
Neglect the deafening sound
Of raindrops bouncing off
once still waters...

Choice...

Curled up on cold tile
Water grazing tense skin
Thoughts flooding a restless mind
Feelings rising like steam
Awakening like numbed fingertips
Vulnerability speaks here
Singing of choice and self
Awareness washing away fear
Instinct shadowed by need
New beginnings embracing flesh
discovery and destiny wait there
Curled up on cold tile
Life is decided here
Shame and vermilion cheeks
Snaking down drains
Like repressed memories
Where happiness like fleeting butterflies
becomes elusive and teasing
And complacent in being just enough...